Random Moments
by booksrule07
Summary: Right, this is just a collection of random moments in the PJO series. Just for a laugh, so read, enjoy and please review.Chapter1 has been updated.


_Welcome to Random Moments. As you can guess, this is full of random moments. Most of them are based on moments from the book, but not all of them are. Oh, and if you think that this is pointless, it's just for a good laugh, and if you don't find any of it funny, I'm sorry, but maybe you just have a different sense of humour from me. So, um… I think that's all. Enjoy. _

_I don't own PJ, so I don't own any characters(apart from a random mortal, but s/he doesn't count. If I do, you will know._

_Right, let's start with… Kronos._

**On board the **_**Princess Andromeda**_** in TLO**

"Friends will always let you down. Luke found this out the hard way." Kronos said

"Well, so did I, so in your face, Kronos!" Percy replied. Kronos stood there, bemused. Percy took the moment to his advantage. He started running.

"Yeah, well… takes one to know one!" the Titian shouted after him.

Percy stopped in his tracks and turned around. "You're really not good with comebacks, are you?"

"I'm sorry…" Kronos said, looking at his shoes.

Every member of the army in the room stared at him, confused. This was meant to be there leader, their leader who was going to bring them revenge, and yet here he was, looking at his feet, embarrassed, and apologising to… to some kid. There was silence for a while. Suddenly, Percy realised something. And, rather unwisely, said what was on his mind.

"Um, aren't you meant to be trying to kill me?"

The Titian looked up, and smiled an evil grin. "Oh yeah…"

_A/N This is based on a friend with rubbish comebacks. Sorry friend_

**Kronos discovers chocolate**

Kronos was hungry

"Thing-whose-name-I-have-forgotten, I'm hungry"

"It's Nakamura, sir."

"What?"

"My name's Nakamura, not _Thing-whose-name-I-have-forgotten_."

"Oh… well I knew that. I know everything!"

"Um, why are you telling me this?"

_Silence_

"Anyway, I'm hungry. Get me food."

_Ethan leaves, and steals some food from the nearest convenience shop, before coming back._

"What's this?"

It was a purple rectangle, with _Cadbury's Dairy Chocolate _written on it.Kronos poked it. Nothing happened. So he poked it again. Still nothing. Ethan stared at Kronos, bemused.

"What is this?" Kronos asked.

"Er, chocolate."

Kronos took a bite, wrapper and all.

"You're, um, meant to unwrap it."

"Oh, well. I knew that. I know-"

"Everything."

"Exactly. Now, you may leave while I eat this, er, chocolate."

_Ethan leaves_

"Now, how to I unwrap this…?"

He poked it again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again.

And that was how Kronos discovered that chocolate stains. Badly.

_A/N Do you think that's too many _And again_'s?_

**Kronos writes down his evil plans… and then the computer crashes…..da da DAAAA! Hehe **_**or**_** The Second Sign of Madness**

_Destroy Olympus _

_Ask Charon where he gets his Italian suits from_

_Start a restaurant which sells Chicken Soup (just add Pony somewhere in there)_

_Invest in a pink bouncy castles, and invite all other the Titans over for a party and picnic._

_Buy a Santa cost…_

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Kronos jumped up and down in frustration as the screen went blank. He should have got a better computer, not the first thing he saw.

"Go to Hades, may your soul be crushed in The Fields of Punishment, then be lost in the bottomless pit of Tatarus" he told the computer. It didn't say anything in reply.

"Yes, that's right. Ignore me. Pretend I don't exist. Just sit there while I scream at you, will you? No, I don't mean actually do it! Oh, you're sulking now. Well, don't. I hate it, OK, be like that. I don't mind."

For about a minute there was silence, except for the rain on the window sills, going _pitter patter. _Then Kronos sighed.

"Why do they always blow up? It's like they don't like me or something. And everybody likes me. Don't they?"

_A/N Sorry that this one is really random. And the first title's slightly strange, I know. Anyway, this was mainly to see how Kronos would cope with modern technology. Not very well. And no, I have no idea why Kronos would want a pink bouncy castle or a Santa costume. I think he's a bit OOC here though. Slightly. Oh well, back to work… _

**On board the **_**Princess Andromeda**_** in TLO (2)**

_A/N Ok, just before you read this, I told _On bard the Princess Andromeda in TLO _to a friend, and they came up with something along the lines of this. So I would like to say thanks to them._

"Friends will always let you down. Luke found this out the hard way." Kronos said

"Well, so did I. In your face, Kronos!" Percy replied. Kronos stood there, bemused. Percy took the moment to his advantage. He started running.

"Yeah, well… takes one to know one!" the Titian shouted after him.

Percy stopped in his tracks and turned around. "You're really not good with comebacks, are you?"

"Takes one to know one!"

"And you're trying to destroy Olympus?" Percy muttered.

"Takes one to know one!"

Every member of the army in the room stared at him, confused. Here was their leader, famous for his wonderful plans, even called the Crooked One they were so amazing, and yet he couldn't come up with a decent come back. They were… embarrassed.

"Do you know any other comebacks?"

"Of course I do. I know…um… so is your face!"

"And…?"

"Um, right…er… What about, _So is your nose?_"

"No. You really need some help, don't you?"

"Takes one to…"Kronos suddenly realised that everybody was staring at him like he was stupid or something. He coughed. "I mean, get the boy!" he ordered .

Percy turned on his heels and ran for it while he had the chance.

**A Message from the Enemy**

Chiron looked at the package that was in front of him. It had arrived that morning on the steps of the Big House. He hasn't told anybody else about it, not even Annabeth, which he felt guilty about. She told him everything. They were like father and daughter.

Cautiously, he picked the scissors off the table and cut the red ribbon wrapped around it. Red ribbon? Who on earth sent this package? He then unwrapped the brown paper to revel a DVD box. He opened the box. Why would somebody have sent this?

He walked over the TV which was usually used for the orientation movie, and took the old DVD out, and put the new one in the slot. Then he pressed the play button.

A face flickered onto the screen. A face Chiron recognised. Luke. But it wasn't Luke. His eyes glowed gold. Which meant he had to be…

"Well, hello." Kronos said. "How lovely it is to see you. Actually, I can't see you, but you know what I mean. So anyway, back to the point. I, Kronos, Lord of the Titians, Titian of Time, The Crooked One, Master of Sushi Making, have a plan. A great plan, to destroy Olympus, and you puny little camp. Now, you are probably wondering why I am telling you this. Well, I shall answer your question. It is so I can metaphorically see you quake in your boots, the fear on your little faces, and more importantly, so you will send your little heroes to attack me, so then I can kill them, making it far more easy for me to take over Olympus. Anyway, back to my plan. You will be amazed with it. Drum roll please. *cough* Drum roll please! Prometheus, the drum roll!" A drum roll was played on a thing which sounded a bit like one of those plastic drums which toddlers play with. Chiron sighed. What on Olympus was his father thinking? He was embarrassed that they were related. "Thank you, Prometheus. Now, my plan. I plan to…take over the Western Civilization. I know, amazing. How I will do this is top secret, but now you know. So, I hope your shivering and quivering.

"Now, while I have your undivided attention, I would like to advertise my new company, 'Titian Cooking Courses'. Family and mortal friendly, as well as fun, it's a great way to learn to cook. Prices start at $100 for a weeks course. If you wish to ask any questions, please phone 01134 139393. Thank you.

"This message will self destruct, but first, time for a little dance. Prometheus, the music, please."

Music blared in the background. Kronos starred dancing. First, he did Bollywood dancing, followed by The Chicken Dance. Then, he did street dancing, and then some ballet. Chiron watched on, baffled. Next came a sort of robot dance, followed by tap dancing, then moon walking (which actually looked quite good). Finally came an Egyptian style dance. When he had finished, Kronos looked at the camera with a gigantic grin on his face. Then, there was a muffled _boom_ in the background, and he held a piece of paper up, with a picture of a mushroom cloud on it. After a few seconds, this was swapped with another piece of paper, with, hand written onto it:

_Presenter-Kronos_

_Music and sound effects-Prometheus_

_Camera man-Some random mortal_

_Thank you for watching this film. We hope you enjoyed it. :)_

Then, the film stopped.

"Well," Chiron thought to him self. "That was… random."

_A/N As you might have guessed _Cats and Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore_ was the inspiration for this piece. If you haven't watched it, ahhh, I just spoiled the whole plot for you. Only kidding. The part for my inspiration came from the part at then end. _

_So, that's it for this chapter folks.. That was so fun to write! More coming soon. Please R&R. I have no idea why I started with Kronos. Anyway, bye for now._


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